Triggered

Okay I’m about to say something that trigger you… 

🤷🏻‍♀️ Oh Well 🤷🏻‍♀️

Rachel Hollis bugs me. 

Her attitude. Her hustle. Her success. Ugh!! She is doing all the things, looks flawless doing them and doesn’t seem to slow down. 

A few months back when I left her movie "Made for More" I told my girlfriend that I have a love/hate relationship with Rach. Ugh!!

I am realizing the reason for these feeling is that she holds up a mirror for me. She does all the things that I want to do. Speak, write, inspire, motivate. She does them so well.


I believe the term is jealousy... Ugh!!


She also says the things, the hard things, that I don’t want to hear. She is a straight shooter and calls me out at every turn.

 And most of the time she is RIGHT. Ugh! 

“If you can’t run a mile, you have a problem.”

(said at the point of my life where exercise was non-existent)

“Your ignorance is a choice.”

(said right after my excuse for not starting my group coaching program was because I didn’t know how)

“If your unhappy, that’s on you.”

(said after a crappy day in the office)


With her words she holds up a mirror that reveal the parts of me that I don’t want to acknowledge. 

She’s like the know-it-all big sister who is always right!! Ugh!!

Fast forward 4 months...

Listening to her has gotten easier...I am self-aware enough to realize that when her words bug me I should probably listen. That when I feel triggered I should take a look in the mirror. That I can make the necessary changes that will align me with my goals and dreams. (Thanks Rach!)

🖤 I am now running no less than 30 miles a month.

🖤 I have now launched my first group coaching program. (December Challenge)

🖤 I have become more intentional with my moods....they are a choice. 

Thinking about making some changes as you finish out 2018? Wondering if there is still time to go after your goals?

Join me in the December Challenge....let’s make it the best month of our year!!! 

Thigh Gap

Thigh Gap

... has never been my reason

Today I went 3 miles which gave me time to really reflect on WHY I started running again.

One the brilliant aspects of journaling is reflection. When I started my 1st 30 Day Challenge I wrote out the reasons behind my mile-a-day goal....


My entry from  August 1st, 2018:

Here are my reasons for joining this challenge:

  • Endurance -  I used to LOVE to run and since I have stopped my endurance in all things has diminished. I want to be able to easily register for a 10k and run it with ease.

  • Mind - running clears my mind and lowers my stress level.

  • Business - I get my best ideas while I run.

  • Energy - Right now my energy level feels low, I know that when I run it increases.

  • Body - I crave a strong & healthy body.

  • Soul - When I am in the flow, running feels like a meditation. I used to LOVE getting into this flow.

(I literally copied this straight out of my journal)

One of the concepts in my 30 day challenge is mindfulness through journaling.

When you join the challenge we get super clear on your reasons behind your personal goal. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to reflect 4 months later on this and see the progress I have made.

I want this for YOU.

Please consider join the challenge for all the right reasons. The group is already full of bad ass women.... we would LOVE to have you!! Curious on any aspect, message me!

http://bit.ly/DecemberChallenge2018

How do you want to FEEL?


We are exactly 35 days away from 2019...how do you want to feel heading into the New Year?

Do you want to feel energized and excited?

... instead of tired and worn down

Do you want to feel proud and successful?

... instead of discouraged and depleted

Do you want to feel joy and gratitude?

... instead of depleted and unhappy

Do you want to feel rested and relaxed?

... instead of manic and anxious


How you feel is a choice....

{yep, I said it}


How you feel is a choice and NOW is the time to go after exactly how you want to feel.

Here's how:

  • Decide how you want to feel heading into 2019

  • Set a game plan

  • Execute your game plan

We know  it is literally THAT easy but it is still so HARD to commit to the execution portion of the equation. Some tips:

  • Write it down

  • Schedule your game plan

  • Get an accountability partner

Looking for a little bit more help? Join the December 30 Day Challenge. The group is set up to provide all the inspiration, accountability and encouragement needed for you to head into 2019 feeling EXACTLY how you want to.

http://bit.ly/DecemberChallenge2018

I love my life!

The other night we let Xavier watch a movie and eat Cheese-Its in our bed.

I know, I know...

...crumbs, bad habit, spoiled kid... whatever!

Anyway...I walked into the bedroom just as he leaned back into the pillows, laced his hands behind his head and said , "I love my life".

He had the perfect little grin of satisfaction on his eight-year-old face. A comfy bed, a good movie and a little snack was all it took for this wild child to realize just how good he's got it.

How often do we say that about our lives? How many times a day, week or month do you utter the words..."I love my life"?

We are three sleeps away from Thanksgiving, the day that is dedicated to being thankful and to loving our lives. I think that its the perfect time to adopt Xavier's simple mantra...

"I love my life"

Procrastination

What gets in your way of doing the most important task in your day?

Mine is good 'ol procrastination.

Take this morning for example.... the most important things that I need to get done are writing this blog and outlining video content for my challenge.

These things are not particularly 'hard' they do however make me a bit uncomfortable. I know that they will get done 'eventually'... so here I am putting them off again and again.

I've cleaned the kitchen & bathrooms. I've done loads of laundry. I've gone on my run. Not because these things are more important.... they are just easier. PLUS they don't make me 'uncomfortable'.

Here is my game plan this week to beat my procrastination: Every night I will write down my Most Important Task for the following day. The next morning I will commit to doing this ONE thing first... before any other chore or task... even if it makes me 'uncomfortable'.

Time to kick this procrastination bullshit to the curb!

Excuses

I did NOT want to go outside in the freezing cold Saturday morning to go on my run today. I wanted to sleep in, snuggle with the hubs, have a cup of coffee in front of the fire, and put a heating pad on for my cramps. Today I had all the excuses.... so I leaned on my No Excuse Mentality... laced up the sneaks and hit the pavement.

This mentality is something that I developed back in August when I embarked on my first 30 day challenge. In August I commit to running one mile a day for an entire month. During that month I had ALL the excuses and learned how to bust through them and still get my mile in. By doing this, by developing a no excuse mentality, I was able to form a habit.

A habit that is still in full effect four months later. (even when the excuses still creep in)

Today was a day that I could have used a laundry list of excuses to not run. And that's not what happens when you commit to yourself and this 30 day challenge. When you join this challenge you strengthen you will-power and learn how to overcome the excuses.

Is there a habit that you have been craving to form? Is there something that you have put off doing? Is there a goal for 2018 that is still yet to be reached?

If so, I invite you join us in December. The group is already full of bad ass women who are also committed to themselves and their challenge.

Join us!

It truly is life changing.

No's

I have to admit, when I started putting myself and my 30 day challenge out there I was as naively excited. 

Like, beyond excited. These simple challenges have changed my life and I feel compelled to share them with the world.  

I assumed that my crazy excitement would be shared by the masses. (ha ha)

So I started marketing my challenge...and was told no. Not once or twice but many times. At first I was confused...they must not understand how amazing this challenge is. Then my emotions caught up with me and I started to doubt myself...am I doing the right thing?

Then the yes’s started to roll in...my first registration..then my second...then 3 in one day!!!!

These yes’s renewed my excitement and enthusiasm.... AND in order to keep up the yes’s rolling in I will need to keep asking. No’s will happen AND no longer will they debilitate me...they are motivation to keep asking. 

“Don’t let a few no’s keep you from asking again...the no’s are in no way a representation of your worth.” - ME

XO,

Mari

Wake up with gratitude.

I'm not sure if it is because it is November... the season of gratitude. Or if its because I am generally overwhelmed with gratitude for my life right now.

Either way I have been waking up differently over the last few months.

When my alarm goes off my first thoughts are pure joy. I lay there for a few moments with a smile on my face. I take a minute to consider how beautiful my life is. 

Every morning I give thanks... and it has had a positive effect on my entire day.

Waking up grateful is how I want to wake up for the rest of my life.


How do you adjust?

We just got back from a vacation in Key West and let me tell you about the expectations I had for this trip....

I pictured lazy days by the beach. I pictured naps by the pool. I pictured my nose in my book for hours. I pictured pages and pages of journal notes. I pictured blogs getting written, inspiration striking. I pictured long meals and lazy nights at the hotel.

My expectations were NOT met...

I believe sometimes its good to have strict expectations (say while at work).... and other times its best to just go with the flow.

When I realized that the vacation I had in mind wasn't going as planned I quickly relaxed my expectations.

Key West is a party town.... and boy did we party. I don't think we relaxed on the beach for no more than two hours... no joke!

We were on the go-go-go.

We rented cruiser bikes and toured the entire island. We took a jet ski tour. We did a sunset snorkel sail boat cruise. We hit up just about every bar on the island. We met new friends. We went dancing. We stayed out until 3 in the morning for crying out loud!! (more than once!!)

We had the time of our lives.

This was such a great lesson for me on expectations.

Sometimes (well lots of the time) things don't go as we plan and we need to adjust our expectations. 

The important part is HOW we adjust.

Do we adjust while stomping our feet in protest...

...or to do we adjust with a smile and a 'make the best of it' mentality?

Do we adjust with anger or resentment...

...or do we look for the silver lining in the situation?

Do we adjust with resistance...

...or do we lean into change and embrace the moment?

How do you react when a situation doesn't measure up to the expectation that you have set?

How do you adjust?

XO,

Mari

Don't be this man...

When in casual conversation it is common knowledge that the dialogue should be pretty close to 50/50....especially when meeting someone for the first time. 

You would THINK this is common knowledge....but sadly, no.

On our first night of vacation we met a nice couple. We were sitting next to each other at the bar so we struck up a convo. At first the conversation was easy and flowed naturally... but I quickly realized that flowed one way....out of the husbands mouth. 

He told us all the things: How many kids they had, how many grand kids they had, that they had wanted 4 kids but could only have 2, what they did for work, that his last work trip to Puerto Rico lasted for 3 months, that his wife doesn’t like her admin job and wants to get back to nursing, that they have a boat and collect stickers for the cooler that sits on the back of it, that she used to be a model, that they have been married for 30 years, that they were high school sweethearts.... You Get It.

We probably chatted for an hour. 

Walking back to our hotel room away I realized that they had not asked us one question about ourselves ....not ONE. 

Don’t be this man.

Ask the questions. 

Have a dialogue. 

It’s not all about you. (Shocker, I know)

What do you do with your No's?


What do you do when someone tells you No? That you can't do something or have something.

I have never responded well to being told 'No':

: No you can’t buy that fancy new house - done

: No you can’t get a tattoo - done

: No you can’t go to Vegas at 18 - done

: No you can’t have a baby at 21 - done

: No you can’t buy your first house by yourself at 23 - done

: No you can’t shave the side of your head at 36 - done

: No you can’t become a successful business owner (twice) - done

: No you can’t employ people without a college degree - done

(okay, some of these are just pure rebellion.... but you get the idea)


When you put yourself on it there, like I am with my new challenge, you are gonna get No's. 

When you show your true self people will doubt and question your decisions.

Here is what I have decided to do with these questions and these No's:

* Get extra motivated to keep asking. I believe that this 30 day challenge will change lives and my passion is to change as many lives as I can!

* Up the challenge, up my game. With every no I become more motivated to over-deliver for all of the  yes's.

No's are good for me. 

What do you do with your No's?

XO,

Mari

Shifting my Mindset

Yesterday I was bummed out big time....I had started cold-calling prospects for my December Coaching Challenge and I got more no's than yes's.  

After digesting the rejections I decided to use the "No's" to push me further.... to completely level up my 30 Day Challenge. It was already going to be amazing....now it will be epic.  

I have a renewed sense of purpose....

I will use the no's as motivation to make this the BEST challenge EVER!!

I will over-deliver with the resources, coaching and accountability.

The participants.... the ones who said 'yes', will say things like:

  • "That challenge was more than I ever could have hoped for.”

  • "That challenge changed my life."

  • "That challenge was the best thing that I have done for mysel.f"

  • "That was the best $100 I EVER spent.”

Although the no's & rejection feels personal and deflating I will use it to my advantage to shift my mindset:  

The rejection will become my inspiration.

The rejection will increase my motivation.

The rejection will inflame my passion.

XO,

Mari

Being told No

I have sold insurance for the last 10 years. I built my business from the ground up and it would be considered 'successful'.... probably very successful by most.  I have asked thousands of people to do business with me over the years. I have made more cold calls than I like to talk about. And I have been told NO. So. Many. Times.

For ten years I have never taken these "No"s  personally.... they are saying no to insurance and not me, right?

*Now* I am selling myself... my own little program...a 30 day challenge. Something that I believe in 110%.

I know that this 30 day challenge will legitimately change lives. I know that when the participants commit to themselves they are happier. I know that when you invest in yourself you will show up better for everyone else in your life. I know that this challenge is significant.... to me, to you, to the world.  

*Now* I am asking for the business, to invest in MY program. I am making the cold calls. I am being told NO.

This is so different than the last 10 years. With insurance I can go home and to bed after 100 no's. Not now.

Now it is personal.... the No's are different. They are agonizing.

Is this what it feels like to change lives?

Is this what it feels like to be true to yourself?

Is this what it feel like to follow a passion?

....I sure do hope so

XO,

Mari

Deprivation...I'm not a fan

Last night I stumbled upon 'pizza night' at the gym. Apparently Planet Fitness does pizza night on the first Monday of the month. The greasy cheesy pizza smell permeated the gym as I got my run in.

I had had a late lunch so I wasn't that hungry. I passed the towers of pizza boxes as I left. I didn't even hesitate.

As I got in my car I thought to myself..wow, that was actually easy to walk past the pizza and the deliciously tempting aroma.

It wasn't willpower... it was something else.

I don't deprive myself. When I am hungry I eat, when I am thirsty I drink.

If I had been hungry I would have grabbed a slice on my way out. Since I don't deprive myself I am able to make better decisions in moments like last night. Decisions that are more in line with my needs at the time.

Deprivation.... I'm not a fan.

I like 'likes'

I have a confession....I like getting likes.

You know the little thumbs up right under a Facebook post or a double tap on my latest Insta pic....I like it.

I realize that I am not 'supposed' to care how many likes I get. Or how many followers I have. Or if I get a 'share' once a year. To care about all of that would be vain and superficial and not appropriate for a 37 year old.

But I do.

Sometimes I wish that I didn't, but this is my confession.

I care that what I put out to the world is seen because...

...I want to make an impact.

...I want to be an inspiration.

...I want the feedback.

...I want the encouragement.

...I want the reinforcement.


Happy Anywhere

Last week I ran into a friend who recently moved out of my neighborhood. She asked about the family, the neighbors and the hood. She hadn't moved far away but she mentioned missing the it.

This shocked me. Her new neighborhood was only about 4 miles away and had similar characteristics.

She said that she missed her old place, was nostalgic for a beat, then said that she would be happy anywhere. This conversation and her quick acknowledgement of being happy anywhere stuck with me all week.

I have been reflecting...

Am I be happy anywhere?

Do I appreciate my neighborhood enough? ('neighborhood' as a metaphor for my current situation)

I often find myself looking past my current set of circumstances and focusing on what 'could be'…

~ Focusing on which goal I should be going after next.

~ Focusing on what I my next achievement will be.

~ Focusing on tomorrow...

I love that my friend made this comment the other day. The fact that she can be 'happy anywhere' is a testament to her ability to stay present and appreciate her life exactly how it is.

One way that helps me stay 'present' is to practice gratitude. Listing out everything that I am grateful for right now (not in tomorrow, this weekend, or next year) right now.

What are you most grateful for today?

XO,

Mari

Marriage & Typing

How many words do you type per minute? How long have you typed this fast (or slow)? 5 years, 10 years, 30 years?

Have you ever stopped to wonder why our typing speed hasn't increased drastically over the years....I mean, it's something that we do/practice daily?

In Gary Keller's book 'The One' thing he suggests that highly productive people don't accept the limitations of their natural approach... that they look for better ways to do things to push them.

Personally I am okay with typing at 60 words per minute... it gets the job done and I don't want to spend time, energy, effort or money to improve. But other areas of my life I don't want to settle for 'good' just because that is how it's always been.

Specifically my marriage.

If we don't' make a conscious effort to always be pushing our natural approach to the relationship we won't grow. We will always stay 'typing 60 words per minute'.

That is why Tom & I see a therapist regularly and go on vacation often and do date nights.

To get better.

Because I want an amazing marriage... not just a 'good' one.

More on staying 'Present'

More on staying present and mindfulness:

I was listening to Oprah interview Jon Kabat-Zinn on her Super Soul Conversations and he said something that really stuck with me. He said that mindfulness is as simple as just stirring the pot.

When you are making dinner after a busy day of work and standing over the stove stirring the pot.... he suggests that we ONLY stir the pot. To focus on the task at hand, to just be there, in that moment.

Its that simple and that hard.

Can you try this mindfulness practice today in the little moments today…

...when you are washing your hands

...when you are sipping your coffee

...when you are chatting with your kids

What if we slowed down enough to just be right there and nowhere else?

Staying 'Present'

Staying present.... oh, this is a hard for me. Being mindful throughout the day seems impossible... I feel so busy. I am constantly thinking about what I have to do next instead of staying right here, right now, where I am. Present.

I found a trick, a little 'hack', if you will...

Write.

That's it.

When I journal daily I find myself taking a deeper look at my day. I starting looking for lessons in every day moments instead of zooming through my 'to-do' list. I become more mindful of my movements and conversations.

I started writing every day after my very fist 30 day 'mile-a-day' challenge earlier this year. I would write right after I finished my run. I would put to paper what I felt, experienced and any lessons that I had learned through the run. By doing this I was hyper aware of what was happening DURING the run. I stopped looking forward to just getting it over with...I was totally and completely present the entire time...

...I noticed the leaves falling

...I noticed the wind tickle my body

...I noticed the bunnies and birds and dogs

...I noticed the other runners. I saw them

...I noticed my muscles slowly getting stronger

...I noticed my thoughts, I really listened to myself

What if we started to notice a bit more every day in every moment. What if we noticed...

...the barista pouring our morning latté

...our child skipping happily to the bus

...our spouse during a routine conversation

...the music that we are listening to on the way to work

...how we are really feeling, inside and out

I believe that one of the major benefits of journaling every day is that we notice more things. When we begin to notice we become present.

Present is how I want to live.

This is why I have chosen writing as my next 30 day challenge. Cheers to Day One!!

XO,

Mari