"Present-over-Perfect" by Shauna Niequist

This BOOK........... this DAMN (good) book........

This morning is the same as yesterday and the day before that.....Shauna is speaking to ME through the words of her book. (is it okay to call an author by their first name? I really feel like we are sole sisters.... really).

Today she writes, "I don't want to miss the actual fabric of the interior of my life and the beautiful children growing up right this second in my own home because I'm working so hard to please people out there. I'm afraid I'm missing it. I'm afraid I'm doing it wrong, and I want to know that I can change."

....'to please people out there'.......... well shit, this is me in a nutshell

      ..........who am I really pleasing if not myself and the ones I love the most?

This past week has been a rough one in this area... I was/am really wanting to show up and please 'people'.... out there.

Sometime I feel like I become a chameleon, you know, showing up exactly how the person in front of me needs me to show up at that time. I don't want to b a chameleon any more... and becoming TRUE to myself is SO hard and NEEDED.

I choose TRUE to be my 2017 Word of the YEAR.

     .....and honestly I thought it would be pretty easy

Boy was I wrong......

     .....being TRUE is hard work

          .......and necessary

               ........and beautiful

 

So, what am I doing to be more TRUE?

  • I am practicing Meditation... I'm up to about 6 minutes a day!
    • the app The Meditation Studio by Gaiam is a good one

 

  • I am practicing being Present... you know in the real moment
    • Stop doing the dishes as Xavier tells me about his day
    • Reading 'Tattoos on the Heart' out loud to all the kids at night
    • Taking Ea to yoga with me
    • Making (and holding) eye contact with a friend during a conversation
    • Not taking any ear buds with me on my walk or run
    • Turning the radio off as I watch Ea's soccer game from the car... it was raining, don't judge

 

  • I am reading this DAMN book... and others like it for tips (and reminders that I am not alone)

 

  • I am working with a coach and a therapist to slow down and to help me FEEL.... actually feel

 

  • I am practicing being gentle with myself

I am #livingonpurpose

 

XO,

Mari